Comparisons.
I saw my pregnant friend on the weekend, the one who's due within a week of me. I really struggle not to compare myself with her. Who will be a better mother? Whose baby will be cuter? Whose child will be better behaved? I know comparisons like that are futile. We're both completely different people, with different goals and different life experiences. Our parenting styles will be different, not better or worse than the other. Our children will be different, because that's how they're made and shaped. I know all this. But still, I question my competence in light of how great a mother she will be. I doubt myself. That's normal, right? I guess it is. Pregnancy brings enough paranoia as it is, I can imagine it will only increase after the baby's born.
My problem is, I care too much about what other people think. I could be on top of the world, thinking I'm doing such a great job, and all it takes is one throwaway comment from someone to completely bring me down. Or less than a comment, maybe just a thought in my head, 'So-and-so is doing it another way... maybe I should be doing it that way too! Maybe the way I'm doing it is completely wrong! Maybe I'm a bad wife/mother/friend/daughter/sister...' See? Paranoia.
Or, 'I try my hardest, and I'm sure I'm doing really well, but I don't get the opportunities that so-and-so gets! What am I doing wrong?' That's a difficult one to work through, because if I don't know how to fix it, I get frustrated. Frustration + pregnancy hormones = bad.
But happy happy joy joy! Only 17 weeks until the baby's due! And only 15 weeks until I stop working (hopefully for good)! I'm so very excited.
posted by Alyssa @ 9:39 AM
1 Comments:
Ahh, I'll tell you what I tell every other worried mom to be that I know. The fact that you are worried about not being good enough for your child, shows exactly how good you are. A good mom cares about stuff like that.
Also, make yourself a matra. Remember that your parenting styles and your child will differ from your friends for a reason. The thing with parenting is that there are a zillion and one books on how to do it because there *is* no right way. What works with my oldest child doesn't always work with my youngest. What works with mine won't always work for someone else. God knows what he's doing. The child you're blessed with comes to you because you're the right parent with the right style to meet this specific child's needs.
Truly at the end of the day there is only one rule - love that kid to pieces. If you base everything you do on how much you love that child - make all your decisions based on how you think its best to display that love - you can't go wrong. really.
Good luck.
Post a Comment
<< Home